70th B-day, Cait's mom and the Adoption Journey

From the far right- Kyle, Heather (sister), Alyssa (niece), Caryl (mom) and John (brother)

Hi Everyone,

We haven't written in awhile and wanted to give a little update. Last weekend we had a 70th b-day lunch for Kyle's mom at local restaurant. Above is a picture I took at our condo after lunch. It was a very nice day and Kyle's mom was really happy to have all her family together. I am missing from the picture and so is Jay (Heather's husband.)

Here is a shot of the delicious B-day cake!

My mom had surgery this week and she stayed over our condo Friday night. We had a lot of fun. A few years ago, I came across an article in Real Simple magazine on interviewing your parents. I have been wanting to interview my mom since I read the article b/c it gives 3 pages of questions to ask. I just thought it would be neat to have an oral history of my mother , so I recorded her and got lots of info. Some of the questions were things like "What is your favorite book & why" and "What is your best and worst childhood memory?" It is nice to know that I will always have her voice to listen to.

This is a shot of Alyssa and Rosie. Alyssa LOVES Rosie sooo much! You can also get a glimpse of our new rug that is under our kitchen table!

This weekend was be pretty low-key. I hung out with my mom yesterday and watched an awful movie (The Age of Innocence.) Kyle & our brother-in-law Jay headed to the new Bass Pro Shop near Gillette stadium (where the Patriots play.) They both loved it, but since it just opened and it was completely mobbed. To my surprise, they came home empty handed. After that, we headed out to dinner at the Olive Garden and met up with Heather (SIL) and Alyssa (niece pictured above.) After dinner we went to Pier 1 b/c I had a gift certificate and then Target. It is Amazing how easy it is for us to spend money at Target! I love that store!

Today Kyle got his hair cut and he looks so handsome :) He gets his haircut at the local mall, so I went with him and did a little Xmas shopping :) Now we are home and have about an hour before we have to head to our nephew Garrett's family birthday party. On our way out to the mall we ran into our neighbor's new black lab puppy! OMG she so beautiful. I can't wait until we have a house with a yard so we can get Rosie a sibling. Oh, speaking of expanding our family... we finally sent in the adoption application. I am now waiting for them to call us to set up the home study! We are excited but we have a lot of work ahead of us.... Ok, hope everyone is doing well. Much love from us.

Didn't Get the Job

Well, I finally mustered up the courage to call the Director and ask where they were in their decision process. She said "you didn't get my email?" She then proceeded to tell me that they hired someone else. I am more stunned than I thought I would be. Maybe I misread some signs but I really thought I was going to get it :(

So below is what her email said:



"Hi Caitlin,

It was good to meet you last week. We are going to be hiring another individual for the vacant position. Thank you for your interest. Good luck to you."



My response was as follows:

"Hi ___________,

Would you mind giving me some feedback as to what the deciding factor was in your decision? I'm just curious as I thought our interview went very well and I know I was very qualified for the position. I also feel that my experience as a person with a disability would have been a huge asset to the Ross Center. Thanks for your time and consideration. "

Ok, I guess that is what I get for not proofreading things more than once. I should of said "I am very qualified.. not I was." Duh.

Anyway, do you all think I was out of line for responding back to her. Part of me says what the hell!! I want to know what the other person has that I don't. How much do you want to make a bet that the person is not disabled?? It pisses me off to have these centers run by non-disabled people. Wouldn't you think that would want someone that really gets what it is like to live everyday with a disability. Ok, I'm just upset.


P.S. Rosie has some parasite and had an accident at work. I was sooooooooooo mortified.

P.S.S.

The more I think about this the more upset I get. Do you all know that it is ILLEGAL (ADA) to ask a person with a disability what their disability is during the interview? Well, the Director not only asked me what my disability was but how I became disabled. When I said "car accident" she then wanted to know when. Isn't that all irrelevant? The fact that I have a disability would of been a HUGE plus to them. However, my merits alone regardless of the disability qualified me for the job. Anyway. I guess I ignored the fact that she blatantly disobeyed the law b/c I really wanted the job,, so I just suppressed it. Since I didn't get the job I'm annoyed. I have to remember that "THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON."

Below is what I found online regarding the "disability issue" for interviews.

What can’t an employer ask during a job interview?

Although the ADA doesn’t prevent employers from seeking the information they need to evaluate a job candidate, it does restrict the scope and purpose of their questioning. Before the passage of the ADA, it was common for employers to ask job applicants about their medical or physical conditions. Now, with the enactment of the ADA, an employer cannot ask disability-related questions unless a job offer has been made. Prior to a job offer, employers cannot ask questions that are likely to elicit information about a disability or ask questions that are closely related to a disability.
For instance, an employer cannot ask if you are blind or ask questions about the level of any partial vision you might have. This type of information was often used to categorically exclude applicants who were blind before their ability to perform the job was even considered. These questions are now prohibited to ensure that persons with disabilities are given an equal opportunity to apply for a job without regard to their disability.
The law categorically prohibits “fishing” for information about a candidate’s physical or mental condition on application forms or during interviews or informal meetings. An employer may inquire only about a person’s ability to perform specific job-related functions.
Example: If you’re interviewing for a maintenance position, an employer can’t ask, “How did you lose your arm?” He or she may ask you to explain or demonstrate how you would use certain tools in that job.

The ADA prohibits employers from asking the following types of questions:

Have you ever been treated for the following listed conditions or diseases?
Has anyone in your family ever had any of the following listed illnesses?
Have you ever been hospitalized? For what? List any conditions or illnesses for which you’ve been treated in the past three years.
Have you ever been treated for a mental disorder?
Are you taking any medication?
Have you ever been treated for drug addiction or alcoholism?
Do you have any major physical disabilities?
If so, how did your disability come about? What is the prognosis for recovery?
Have you ever filed for worker’s compensation benefits?
How many times were you absent from your previous job because of illness?
Do you have any disabilities that would affect your performance in the position for which you are applying?

No News Yet...Looking for Feedback

Hi All,

Several friends and family have been asking if I've heard anything on the job yet and the answer is NO. I thought I would hear by the end of the week but no such luck.

The big question is... if I don't hear by Tuesday should I call???? Monday will be a week since I interviewed with the Director and met the other two staff members. I feel apprehensive about calling and if I do call what should I say? The way the Directorleft it is that I would hear from her by a weeks time. I don't want to be too pushy but I also want to show that I really want the job.

I'm not really nervous either way. I really hope I get it but if not I guess it is their loss. Any feedback on the best game plan from here is greatly appreciated.

Tonight we are off to a wine tasting fundraiser at the Glastonbury Abbey, which is a local monastery that both my mother and family friends attend. It is a good cause and should be fun. I can't believe we are venturing out because we are getting the strong winds from the most recent tropical storm and it is super windy.

Rosie is sick so we are a tiny bit worried. She has the runs and had an accident last night. She is smart enough to not go on the carpet, thank god. Anyway, I hope it doesn't last b/c she was already at the vet last week for an ear infection. She is beside herself because we are not feeding her and she does not understand why. Anyway, enough for now....