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Monday, March 23, 2009

Hello, is anyone out there?

Ok, I can’t remember the last time I received a comment on this blog and am wondering if it is even worth maintaining it. Ugh!
Things have been real bad lately. I got rear ended this past Friday and my van is not drivable. I just received a call from the auto body shop telling me I won’t have it back for @ least 2 weeks. Ugh! I will need a rental van which runs around $150 a day and from what I’m told it is going to be very difficult to get the guy’s insurance to cover it. Ugh!!! I am freaking out b/c I can’t be out of work for 2 weeks. It also isn’t fair to expect my employer to let me work from home for 2 weeks strait! I am beyond stressed with all of this!

As if our week wasn’t already bad enough on Tuesday we found out that our baby due in May not have ever existed. As you all know, the BM was MIA for a long time. Well, when the Director of the agency we are working with in Kansas FINALLY tracked the BM down on the phone she hung up on here!!! At this point, we’ve heard thru the grapevine that the BM is no longer pregnant. This means she either miscarried or lied to use to get more $, aborted the baby or was never pregnant to begin with. I am sick just retelling this story. We want to press charges but it is the agency that needs to act on this since she signed contracts with them. There is no way in hell that we will allow her to do this to another couple!

When it rains it pours!

Friday, March 13, 2009

This Is A Must Share

Change Your Thinking

It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed. It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'

Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present.'The origin of this letter is unknown, but it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.Do not keep this letter.I pray you will forward it to all your friends to whom you wish God's blessings.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Major Concern and Frustration

Frustration

I don’t want to put too much private information out there in cyberspace for everyone to know our business but I am really stressed and need to vent.

Ok, we found out about the birth mom’s situation b4 Xmas. Shortly thereafter we had a conference with the birth mom (BM) and the agency we’re working with in Kansas. The call went great. The plan was that we could get an ultrasound from the BM’s next appointment and we would also find out the gender of the baby. The BM did not seem to mind keeping us in the loop for the duration of the pregnancy.

In Mid January we heard that the BM was spotting and had to go to the ER. She spent over 4 hours at the ER. The good news is that the baby was fine and they wanted to lie low for the next month. They think that the BM may have been pregnant with twins and that she lost the twin. The remaining baby was still fine according to the ultrasound that she had at the time. They were unable to determine the sex of the baby at that time.

So the plan was that Joann from our agency in Kansas was going to take the BM to the doctor the week after the ER incident since it all happened on the weekend. For several weeks we never heard any news. I called Joann numerous times and she indicated that she had left multiple messages for the BM. It turns out that the phone that Joann got for her was defective. In short, the birth mom was MIA for several weeks. Joann finally got a hold of her by going to her last known address and they had a long heart-to-heart conversation. The BM remained strong in her decision but was just having a VERY hard time emotionally. She had also lost 17 pounds and had not been to the doctor for close to two months. All that things we were promised i.e. ultrasound, dr’s appointment info have not come to fruition.

Last Friday, February 28, I had a long conversation with Joann. She had not been able to track the BM down since their last visit. She went to her house where she saw her @ last and her ex-husband answered telling Joann that she was most likely at her parent’s house.

I am beyond frustrated! We have no idea if the baby is doing ok. We have not seen an ultrasound. Nothing that was promised to us has come to fruition and we have invested a good amount of $ on this situation.

I just called Joann again and told her how frustrated I am. She totally understands and plans to make a few more attempts to track the BM down. I am more worried about the BM using drugs than changing her mind. It was never our intention to adopt a baby with drug exposure and we’ve been very clear about that.

At this point, the baby is due on May 11th and we don’t have any more information than that. I told Joann that when she FINALLY gets to a doctor I want her tested for drug use.
I’m not sure what our recourse is at this point. We’ve invested about 5K so far and I was told that if this situation falls through we will get moved to the top of the list!!!

A few people have asked about the rights of the Birth father. All I know at this point is that he’s in jail and wanted the BM to have an abortion. The biological father has another child with the BM and he has no involvement with that child. I feel confident that we won’t have a problem getting him to terminate his parental rights. If all goes as planned, the BM has up to 12 hours after the birth to change her mind. At this point I can’t even worry about that I just need to focus on the health of the baby. Ugh! I’m very frustrated and feel so helpless.

I stole a picture of my niece’s Face book page from this past thanksgiving on Cape Cod. I figured I’d end this depressing post on a happy note by sharing this picture of a wonderful day. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers!!!