Frustration
I don’t want to put too much private information out there in cyberspace for everyone to know our business but I am really stressed and need to vent.
Ok, we found out about the birth mom’s situation b4 Xmas. Shortly thereafter we had a conference with the birth mom (BM) and the agency we’re working with in Kansas. The call went great. The plan was that we could get an ultrasound from the BM’s next appointment and we would also find out the gender of the baby. The BM did not seem to mind keeping us in the loop for the duration of the pregnancy.
In Mid January we heard that the BM was spotting and had to go to the ER. She spent over 4 hours at the ER. The good news is that the baby was fine and they wanted to lie low for the next month. They think that the BM may have been pregnant with twins and that she lost the twin. The remaining baby was still fine according to the ultrasound that she had at the time. They were unable to determine the sex of the baby at that time.
So the plan was that Joann from our agency in Kansas was going to take the BM to the doctor the week after the ER incident since it all happened on the weekend. For several weeks we never heard any news. I called Joann numerous times and she indicated that she had left multiple messages for the BM. It turns out that the phone that Joann got for her was defective. In short, the birth mom was MIA for several weeks. Joann finally got a hold of her by going to her last known address and they had a long heart-to-heart conversation. The BM remained strong in her decision but was just having a VERY hard time emotionally. She had also lost 17 pounds and had not been to the doctor for close to two months. All that things we were promised i.e. ultrasound, dr’s appointment info have not come to fruition.
Last Friday, February 28, I had a long conversation with Joann. She had not been able to track the BM down since their last visit. She went to her house where she saw her @ last and her ex-husband answered telling Joann that she was most likely at her parent’s house.
I am beyond frustrated! We have no idea if the baby is doing ok. We have not seen an ultrasound. Nothing that was promised to us has come to fruition and we have invested a good amount of $ on this situation.
I just called Joann again and told her how frustrated I am. She totally understands and plans to make a few more attempts to track the BM down. I am more worried about the BM using drugs than changing her mind. It was never our intention to adopt a baby with drug exposure and we’ve been very clear about that.
At this point, the baby is due on May 11th and we don’t have any more information than that. I told Joann that when she FINALLY gets to a doctor I want her tested for drug use.
I’m not sure what our recourse is at this point. We’ve invested about 5K so far and I was told that if this situation falls through we will get moved to the top of the list!!!
A few people have asked about the rights of the Birth father. All I know at this point is that he’s in jail and wanted the BM to have an abortion. The biological father has another child with the BM and he has no involvement with that child. I feel confident that we won’t have a problem getting him to terminate his parental rights. If all goes as planned, the BM has up to 12 hours after the birth to change her mind. At this point I can’t even worry about that I just need to focus on the health of the baby. Ugh! I’m very frustrated and feel so helpless.
I stole a picture of my niece’s Face book page from this past thanksgiving on Cape Cod. I figured I’d end this depressing post on a happy note by sharing this picture of a wonderful day. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers!!!
I don’t want to put too much private information out there in cyberspace for everyone to know our business but I am really stressed and need to vent.
Ok, we found out about the birth mom’s situation b4 Xmas. Shortly thereafter we had a conference with the birth mom (BM) and the agency we’re working with in Kansas. The call went great. The plan was that we could get an ultrasound from the BM’s next appointment and we would also find out the gender of the baby. The BM did not seem to mind keeping us in the loop for the duration of the pregnancy.
In Mid January we heard that the BM was spotting and had to go to the ER. She spent over 4 hours at the ER. The good news is that the baby was fine and they wanted to lie low for the next month. They think that the BM may have been pregnant with twins and that she lost the twin. The remaining baby was still fine according to the ultrasound that she had at the time. They were unable to determine the sex of the baby at that time.
So the plan was that Joann from our agency in Kansas was going to take the BM to the doctor the week after the ER incident since it all happened on the weekend. For several weeks we never heard any news. I called Joann numerous times and she indicated that she had left multiple messages for the BM. It turns out that the phone that Joann got for her was defective. In short, the birth mom was MIA for several weeks. Joann finally got a hold of her by going to her last known address and they had a long heart-to-heart conversation. The BM remained strong in her decision but was just having a VERY hard time emotionally. She had also lost 17 pounds and had not been to the doctor for close to two months. All that things we were promised i.e. ultrasound, dr’s appointment info have not come to fruition.
Last Friday, February 28, I had a long conversation with Joann. She had not been able to track the BM down since their last visit. She went to her house where she saw her @ last and her ex-husband answered telling Joann that she was most likely at her parent’s house.
I am beyond frustrated! We have no idea if the baby is doing ok. We have not seen an ultrasound. Nothing that was promised to us has come to fruition and we have invested a good amount of $ on this situation.
I just called Joann again and told her how frustrated I am. She totally understands and plans to make a few more attempts to track the BM down. I am more worried about the BM using drugs than changing her mind. It was never our intention to adopt a baby with drug exposure and we’ve been very clear about that.
At this point, the baby is due on May 11th and we don’t have any more information than that. I told Joann that when she FINALLY gets to a doctor I want her tested for drug use.
I’m not sure what our recourse is at this point. We’ve invested about 5K so far and I was told that if this situation falls through we will get moved to the top of the list!!!
A few people have asked about the rights of the Birth father. All I know at this point is that he’s in jail and wanted the BM to have an abortion. The biological father has another child with the BM and he has no involvement with that child. I feel confident that we won’t have a problem getting him to terminate his parental rights. If all goes as planned, the BM has up to 12 hours after the birth to change her mind. At this point I can’t even worry about that I just need to focus on the health of the baby. Ugh! I’m very frustrated and feel so helpless.
I stole a picture of my niece’s Face book page from this past thanksgiving on Cape Cod. I figured I’d end this depressing post on a happy note by sharing this picture of a wonderful day. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers!!!
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