Kyle & I headed to NH this morning to see my father in the hospital. He's been in the hospital since early April and won't ever be returning home. We spent about 2 hours with him and he was so happy to see us. We bought him an ice coffee and a blueberry muffin from D&D and he was happy as a clam.
He had a magazine on his table that we looked at together. There was a little blurb on Bristol, RI and their famous 4th of July festivities. He told me that we would go together this summer when I told him I had never been to the Bristol parade. This made me sad realizing we won’t go. In fact, I will never be able to go anywhere ever again with my father as he is dying. I think at times he really thinks he’s going to get better. He will be discharged sometime in the next week into hospice care.
I cried most of the way up there but I really tried to keep it together for him during our visit. Every time I leave him I wonder if it is the last time I will see him alive. Just knowing that he won’t always be that phone call away breaks my heart. Kyle and I have had some good times w/ Dad and Barbara (his wife) over the last 9 years. We will always treasure them. No parent sets out be a failure. I’ve had my issues with Dad but the bottom line, in my opinion, is that he did the best he knew how to do and there is no doubt in my mind that he loves all his children very much. I just want him to be at peace.
He had a magazine on his table that we looked at together. There was a little blurb on Bristol, RI and their famous 4th of July festivities. He told me that we would go together this summer when I told him I had never been to the Bristol parade. This made me sad realizing we won’t go. In fact, I will never be able to go anywhere ever again with my father as he is dying. I think at times he really thinks he’s going to get better. He will be discharged sometime in the next week into hospice care.
I cried most of the way up there but I really tried to keep it together for him during our visit. Every time I leave him I wonder if it is the last time I will see him alive. Just knowing that he won’t always be that phone call away breaks my heart. Kyle and I have had some good times w/ Dad and Barbara (his wife) over the last 9 years. We will always treasure them. No parent sets out be a failure. I’ve had my issues with Dad but the bottom line, in my opinion, is that he did the best he knew how to do and there is no doubt in my mind that he loves all his children very much. I just want him to be at peace.
When we got home from our 2.5 hour drive from seeing dad there was a beautiful flower arrangement at our door pictured above. It was from my three sisters. That brought much needed smiles to both of us.
